


We Could Set Ourselves On Fire

by timeblitz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cutting, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sadstuck, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-25
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 15:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7578706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timeblitz/pseuds/timeblitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You wish you hadn’t of said anything, that he didn’t have to see you like this. There was no way to take it back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Could Set Ourselves On Fire

You’re not sure why you messaged him. You just did. It started off casual, you saying hello, him asking why the fuck you woke him up so late and then, it wasn’t. Your body ached and your head hurt and all the sudden you were telling him you didn’t want to go on. Almost instantly he replied. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t fucking move. That he’d be there as fast as he could. You didn’t listen. Why would you? 

When he burst through your door it must have been like bursting into a murder scene. There was a lot of blood and you couldn’t help but laugh at his horrified expression. He descended down on you, ripping the blade away and chucking it across the room. You felt tired, so very tired. So you slept. Plain and simple. His sobs acted as your lullaby. 

Eventually all good things come to an end. You relearned this just now as you woke up. You had a horrible headache and the lights were so bright. So very bright. With burning wrists, you slowly sat up, blinking away the shock. You were in your room, on your bed and confused. Had you imagined the whole thing? If so, then who had bandaged your wrists? You decide not to question it yet, your head still hurts.

The door cracked open and there he was, Karkat Vantas. His hair was messier than usual and the bags under his eyes more prominent. His clothes were wrinkled and his face showed evidence of tears. You felt guilt. Horrible, horrible guilt. He practically stumbled to your bed, relief flashing across his face. 

He opened his mouth as if to go off on a tangent but instead closed it, his words lost in the sudden rush of tears. You wanted to tell him not to cry, that you were sorry for making him upset, something, but the words got stuck in your sore throat and your hands felt clammy as he took them in his own. 

He kept mumbling your name over and over again, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles. Why couldn’t you say anything? Why were you making him wait? What could you even say? They say actions speak more than words so you decide to give that a try. It hurts to move right now but that’s to be expected. You lift one hand from his grasp and reach up to wipe the tears from his face. You wish he wouldn’t cry. You wouldn’t feel as awful as you do now if he wasn’t. 

Karkat takes a shaky breath as your hand smears his tears across his cheek. His eyes are bloodshot and the bags that normally reside under them are looking much worse than usual. He must have stayed up all night while waiting for you to wake up. “I’m sorry.” You finally rasp, your lungs burning. All this does is bring Karkat another wave of tears. This time you join him, a few tears lazily making tracks down your cheeks. 

Karkat hugs you tightly and you try to return the action the best you can. You’re still out of it, your head feeling dizzy from blood loss and your body sore. You know you must have been sleeping for ages but it feels like you’ve never slept a day in your life. Before you realize it, you’ve fallen asleep again, leaning into Karkat heavily.  
\---------------------

The next time you wake up Karkat is curled up next to you, his head resting on your chest. Fuck, you love him. You love him so much. He was going to be your biggest regret. You’d miss him the most. You drape an arm around him, gently brushing a lock of his messy black hair out of his face. You wish you hadn’t of said anything, that he didn’t have to see you like this. There was no way to take it back. You watch him as he sleeps, his face uneasy with the nightmares only he will ever see. You press a small chaste kiss to his forehead, your lips cold against his skin. 

When he wakes up, he lazily traces shapes with his fingers on your chest. He’s trying to think of what to say, that’s easy to see. You’re grateful he isn’t crying anymore, it breaks your heart to see him that upset. Eventually he looks up at you and whispers in a quiet and fragile voice. “Please don’t leave me.” You have no choice but to say you won’t.


End file.
